SO YOU THINK SHE MIGHT BE PREGNANT
Hearing the news that your girlfriend is pregnant can be shocking and scary. The first reaction is often one of disbelief. Maybe you’re feeling that this just can’t be real… at least not for you. Getting confirmation of the pregnancy is the first step. We offer free pregnancy testing here at Pregnancy Resource Clinic and would love for her to come in for a test to make sure she is pregnant. You can even come with her if that would make her feel better.
If your girlfriend is pregnant, it’s going to be important for the two of you to spend some time talking. Often, when guys hear the news that their girlfriend might be pregnant their first reaction isn’t always the best.
If you said things or acted in a way that hurt her feelings you may have to begin by apologizing. After that you need to talk and you both need to be honest about how you are feeling.
Anger, fear, guilt, and resentment are common emotions many feel when facing an unplanned pregnancy. You should also begin to talk about your concerns and how you think the pregnancy will impact each of you.
Be sure to listen to her during these conversations. It’s natural to focus on your feelings and how this impacts you, but now isn’t the time to be selfish. As you talk, this shouldn’t be a one-time conversation.
You’ll need time to think, so be sure that you continue to communicate with each other over the next days and weeks. This will be one of the biggest decisions of your life and you don’t have to rush things.
You have time to consider all your options. And as you talk, let her know she is not in this alone, that you are stepping up and taking responsibility.
Once you’ve had some time to talk and share your concerns, it’s time to start coming up with a plan. Often young couples aren’t aware of all the options available to them.
As the father, you have several options when your girlfriend is pregnant. We are happy to talk them over with the two of you at the appointment. Or if you would like, our male coaches are available to talk through your fears and challenges.
THE DO’S
- Listen. The situation involves more than just you. There are now three lives to think about.
- Stay Calm. She needs your support now more than ever. She may be carrying the baby, but you are BOTH parents, and regardless of your relationship in the future, that baby needs you too.
- Talk about it – not only with each other, but prepare to talk with parents and others close to the situation.
- Gather all the facts. Get all the information and seek wise counsel so you can make the best decision for both of you.
- Express yourself honestly – it’s normal to have feelings of anger, frustration and fear. But make sure she knows she is not alone.
QUESTIONS? ASK US ANYTHING!
THE DON’TS
- Don’t bail. The more you run from this, the harder it becomes to think and act clearly.
- Don’t pressure her. Applying pressure will only push her away, possibly into a regretful situation.
- Don’t forget. You have a very active role in this situation. Listen to input as well as give your thoughts.